Castle Bisset






AUGUST 20, 2019





In today's House Of Humoronics

Animals Being Jerks
Why Are Things Colored?
The Most Awesome Train Engines Ever Built
His First Snow Adventure
Hiring Slogans And What They Mean

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Sir Joseph's Secret Passageway

NOT OUR FIRST RODEO

A young couple from our church dropped off a suitcase with clothes, jammies and diapers for thier one-year-old who will stay with us when her mommy and daddy go to the hospital to deliver their second baby. Along with the suitcase came a favorite blanket, a stuffed animal — and two pages of typed instructions.

It’s not like we haven’t worked this gig before. Laura and I have cared for kids of all ages and Laura has worked in a nursery in North Carolina. We may not have any kids of our own but we have a lot of experience in child care. As they say, “This ain’t our first rodeo.”

The instructions begin: “Warning!!!!!” (Five exclamation points.)

“She’s FAST!!!!!!!!!!” (Ten exclamation points.)

“She loves cords, outlets, confined corners, climbing on top of things, eating anything she can pick up with her fingers, running and pulling up on things. She’s strong!” That one only had one exclamation mark. Clearly, the baby's momma was losing steam. At nine months, who doesn’t?

When we visited friends after they had their second baby, we saw that the mother had four pages of handwritten instructions stuck to the refrigerator for her mother who had come to care for their first. I may have laughed too hard then. Now I am getting my just desserts.

The instructions included details on filling the sippy cup with Vitamin D milk and bringing the milk to room temperature. Little does she know the tot drank it cold from our ‘fridge as soon as the parents left - and before we got that far reading the instructions. But fine, we’ll bring it to room temperature.

There is a list of foods she can have: strawberries, blueberries, pieces of string cheese, bits of bread and peaches. And foods that are off limits: grapes, raw veggies, popcorn, soda and juice. I added bourbon and Chex Mix to her list to see if she catches it later.

We read the instructions thoroughly, especially the ones about “Send LOTS of pictures!!!!!” and the one that said, “Please go in after 10-15 min. if she’s crying and try rocking her or holding her upright (like a hug position) to help her fall asleep.” I realized she didn’t write these because she thinks we’re inept. She wrote them because she’s apprehensive.

She’s worried about leaving a 13-month-old who might not understand why. She’s worried her little one might think Mommy and Daddy are not coming back. (Believe me, we'll make sure that they do.)

But there’s something else between the lines. She’s fielding a question every mother asks with her second. If you love your first one so very much, where does more love come from for yet another?

Oh, sweet Baby's Momma, the human heart was made pliable. It was made to bend and stretch and grow with the seasons, like a tree that sprouts a million new buds every spring. You have a deep reservoir of love. It’s bubbling in your heart even now.

We promise: Your babies will be fine and so will you!!!!!!!!!!

Ten exclamation points.

Sir Joseph







SIR JOSEPH
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Contributions to today's Castle Bisset have been made by:
Sara in New Mexico
Missy in Pennsylvania
Glenn in Texas
Estera Pirosca Escobar


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