FEBRUARY 21, 2019
In today's House Of Humoronics
Beryozka Dance Troop
Send It In A Letter
Games And Puzzles
House Of Humoronics
Castle Bisset Archive
Famous Person Archive
Game Page Archive
Castle Bisset Dungeon
Castle Bisset Chapel
Lines And Bars
Juke Box 2
Sir Joseph's Secret Passageway
I was talking to my buddy Les yesterday. He had just had a humdinger of an argument with his wife and stopped by our house ... to cool off, I guess. He is married for the second time and, like all marriages, he's going over a bit of a rough spot. He observed that Lady Laura and I have been married almost 50 years and asked me what I did to keep our marriage together. Laura happened to overhear him and came into the room and sat down.
"I want to hear this too."
I told him it was simple. It only takes a couple who keep something between them - God. If you follow His precepts your marriage will be strong - even while going through the rough times.
Laura nodded in agreement and then asked me to tell her what advice I would have give her before we got married if I knew then what I know now. It took a bit of thinking but here is the list I came up with.
That was a little tougher but I started by telling her that there are two sides to every story, the way I tell it and the way it really happened.
• I have the solution for any problem. It may not work, but I have a solution.
• Only ask your me to do something once, I won’t hear you after that anyhow.
• I know you best, but you know me better.
• The more you pay for a new outfit, the greater the probability you will forget to remove the price tag before I see it.
• The most powerful motivator known to man is the smell of a steak on the grill.
• The more you nag me, the greater the probability that you are wrong.
• If you think you have any secrets from me, remember why I buy you negligees.
• Never tell me you have nothing to do. I will ask you to bring me a coke.
• If you need an item you can’t find, ask me. I won’t have it either, but I will know who to borrow it from.
• If you want something new, I can always figure out why you don’t need it.
• You can’t out procrastinate me; don’t even try.
• I can always come up with a better way to do something, especially after it’s already done.
• Never complain about the movie until after I make the popcorn.
• No matter how long you’ve been on a diet, I will still take you out to an Italian restaurant.
• Never forget who puts up with your faults. That’s something else to worry about.
• Never say you can do it yourself, unless you are planning on it.
• The more expensive the gift I give you, the more you will wonder what I've been up to.
• I know that your “honey do” list has no beginning and no end.
• My turf is always the exact spot where you need to vacuum the rug.
• You will always need to use the car before he does when the gas tank is empty.
• The older I become, the more he acts like a child.
• The longer it’s been since you cleaned house, the more likely it is that I will invite company for dinner.
• No matter how big I get, I am never too big to wrap around your little finger.
• The more you detest my plaid shirt, the more often I will wear it.
• The longer the story I'm telling, the more likely you’ve already heard it.
• I always know everything – I just sometimes have trouble remembering.
• The grass gets mowed on two occasions, when it needs it and when you want him to do something else.
• I am the only person who will know you better than the bathroom mirror.
• The reason I won’t turn down the TV is because I can’t hear you asking.
• If you can’t remember whether I told you he would be home late, I will.
• Never criticize me about anything that involves a hammer, saw, or screwdriver.
THE DARK PRINCE
THE DARK PRINCE
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Sara in New Mexico
Glenn in Texas
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