Castle Bisset












APRIL 26, 2018

In today's House Of Humoronics

Top Highlights of Cats
Internet Live Stats
Those Funny Animals
Squeeze Your Brain
Sorry, Mom

Today's Inspiration

Amnesia






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Sir Joseph's Secret Passageway




APRIL 26, 2018

GRADUATION

In 1982 I was hired as a DJ at a radio station (WLLY) in Wilson, North Carolina. It was not a huge market but it covered a good portion of the east-central part of the state. After a few years I had worked my way up to being (according to the people who keep such statistics) the number one DJ in the area. But I was surprised one Spring when I was invited to be the commencement speaker at a local Christian school.

I was feeling pretty good about myself until one morning I got a note from the school uninviting me to speak. It seems that I wasn't their first choice and their first choice, who had originally turned them down, had cleared his schedule so that he could speak to the graduates.

To be cajoled, wooed and invited to be a commencement speaker and then abruptly uninvited, is reminiscent of that horrid gal who dumped you in the tenth grade. I just hoped that day’s incident did not result in graffiti in the restroom stalls or shaving cream on someone’s car windows. Who was I kidding? No one besides a few school officials even knew I was invited to speak ... no one except my whole listening audience!

Consulting with Anna Post, the great-great granddaughter of etiquette maven Emily Post, on the proper technique of inviting and then uninviting a guest speaker, as near I can gather, falls under the heading of “Things Not Done.”

Thank goodness for WikiHow (second cousin, once removed, to Wikipedia) that offers four steps (with illustrations!) on uninviting someone. First: Rest chin in hands and make sure you don’t want this person at your event. Next: Close eyes, rub temples, ask yourself if you’ve had an argument with this person. Step Three: Wearing a cardigan, confront the person calmly and suggest you stay out of one another’s way. Final Step: With a big red embarrassed face, only uninvite someone in a serious circumstance.

The school official's note on my desk was not proper etiquette but it got the job done.

If you’re out there buying graduation gifts this year, be grateful it’s only costing you money and not personal humiliation.

Sir Joseph







SIR JOSEPH
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THE DARK PRINCE
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DAME SUNNY
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Castle Bisset









APRIL 25, 2018

In today's House Of Humoronics

It Ain't Dumb If It Works
Allergy Resources
Oops!!
Signs You're Actually A Cat
Flood!!

Today's Inspiration

The Waiting Place






Games And Puzzles
House Of Humoronics
Famous People
Castle Bisset Archive
House Archive
Famous People Archive
Blog Archive
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Castle Bisset Dungeon
Castle Bisset Chapel


Fonts
Music
Glitter
Tools
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Post Cards
Clip Art
Christian
Search Engines
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Lines And Bars
Alphabets
Holidays
Betty Boop
Juke Box
Juke Box 2


Sir Joseph's Secret Passageway




APRIL 25, 2018

MY MEMORY IS SHOT

My memory is shot. The only thing I can retain is water.

I don't know when it happened or how it happened, but it happened.

Last week I was trying to think of the name of the beautiful towering trees that make North Carolina gorgeous and pristine. I know this - I know I know this. Pine? No, North Carolina has lots of pine trees they weren't pine I was think of. Scotch? No.

We lived in North Carolina for over twenty years. Forgetting the name of those trees is like forgetting my own phone number.

They are well-dressed trees. I’m getting warm now. Fur, that’s it, fir. But what kind of fir? It is a two-part name. I can see the trees swaying in the wind, dripping sap on the car. Suddenly, all I can think of was the small Nebraska town where an old Navy buddy lives. What was the name of that town? Douglas. That’s it. Douglas fir trees.

It's like playing seven degrees of separation with my brain. Or is it six degrees of separation?

Names are the worst.

It's not that I can't remember them, I can – but often not until hours later.

I loathe going to Sears. Every time I walk though their doors I see someone I know. Not someone I can name necessarily, but someone I know.

“Hi there! How are you?” I know you. I know I know you, I just can't remember how I know you.

I run through the possibilities: Kid connection? You're somebody's mother, right? Did our brothers play football together? Are you one of my former classmates? I don’t think so. Do I know you from church? If I could just see the back of your head. I think we sit behind you.

The neighborhood? Are you that friend of a friend I met at a fundraiser last week?

The last time that happened, I could remember the guy's first name, but not his last name. But I knew it had something to do with windows. Sash, sill, double hung, single hung, horizontal sliding. Window pane. Payne? No, that wasn’t it.

I shot straight up in bed at 4 a.m. and yelled, “ANDERSEN! His last name is Andersen.”

As my buddy Les says about himself, “I have a mind like a sieve.”

Being a compulsive list-maker helps, providing I can remember where I put the list. No doubt it is with my car keys and my wallet.

Because my reading glasses sprout legs and like to play hide and seek, I keep a pair at my desk and a pair in the bathroom. When I can't find either of those, I put on the glasses that I allow myself to remove from my desk only if the bathroom pair has gone into hiding.

My sister Maryellen once gave me a pair last year at the VA hospital. We were there for my respirator's annual check-up and I needed to read some papers they gave me. Naturally, mine were home. Maryellen said she had a pair in her purse that she didn't use anymore. I could have them for a traveling pair. It was to nobody's surprise that I lost them within a day.

A few weeks ago I was once again at the VA hospital to get my respirator checked. Need I tell you that I found those glasses in the carrying case?

This morning I was wearing my desk glasses, I told the wife that I could not find my bathroom glasses.

“They're on the top of your head,” she said. I thought my head felt a little crowded, and it sure wasn't from memory cells.

When I started this column I had an ending in mind. Now that I'm here, I've forgotten it. Check back next week. Surely I will have remembered it by then.

Sir Joseph







SIR JOSEPH
Castle Bisset Editor

THE DARK PRINCE
Famous People Editor
Dungeonmaster

DAME SUNNY
Proofreader



Contributions to today's Castle Bisset have been made by:
Sara in New Mexico
Lacey in Pennsylvania
David H. Roper


Banners within Castle Bisset are produced by

and Microsoft Picture it! 7.0




This web site may contain copyrighted material whose use has not been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. This site is operated under the assumption that this non-profit use on the Web constitutes a "Fair Use" of the copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. This site is meant for personal enjoyment only.